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As I read this story, I think of it as the world that I was so excited to grow up in. I couldn't wait to drive, I couldn't wait have my first girlfriend, and I couldn't wait to look like the cool kids on TV. I didn't ease into these stages, I dove in head first. I wanted to be popular, I wanted to date this hot piece of arm candy. I wanted to have the next best tech gadget before anyone else did, and be better than everyone else. So I started to drop all the things that were good for me and replaced them with lust, greed, and arrogance. I thought I knew what was best for me, and that's where it all went downhill. I tried to be friends with the crowd that everyone wanted to be apart of, no matter how I got there. I burned some bridges with old friends in an attempt to get closer to the prettier girls. I played football with the athletic ones at recess in middle school just to get my foot in the door for them to notice me. I went so hard that I ended up tearing a ligament in my leg, I came back to school later that week like a peg leg. As I progressed in this decaying lifestyle, the worse I started to feel. I was in the cool crowd, wasn't this supposed to make me happy? Pretty girls talked to me, shouldn't this feel more fulfilling?
It didn't, and doesn't
The more weight I trusted these things with, the bigger a hit it was when it feel through. It got to the point where I would repeatedly think about taking my own life. I could stop feeling bad if I just stopped feeling everything.
This lifestyle was toxic, not like the bad Britney Spears song; like you're going to put yourself in the ground toxic. So as a last resort (more like a life raft), my old youth minister held this opportunity in front of me, but I had to take the chance. As I had explained in my first blog coming back I accepted Christ into my heart and started to regain the lifestyle I had ditched in the first years of being in Batesville. Today looking back on it, I wonder why God even considered taking me back into His kingdom. I had totally disrespected and disregarded him for years while my sin started piling up. However, every time I look back on the Parable of the Lost Son; the dad is like God. Even though we screw up so bad to the point of no return; we can come back to God. And He will have his arms wide open. He is our refuge, He is our comforter, and He is our Father.
I'd also like to take a look at the perspective of the older brother. He was by his father's side ever since the younger brother left. He was the perfect worker and a blessing of a son. Put yourself in his shoes: your younger brother comes home after making a mess of himself, living wildly and making your family's image turn rotten. Then he comes home and gets a party thrown for him? Where's your reward for staying? Where is the calf for your hard work? Why can't you throw a party for me?
I believe that when we think like the older brother, we get the mindset that God's gift for eternity is earned. But God's gift is just that, a gift. No matter how hard you try, you can't earn that blessing. And if you are a believer, you're working toward something that has already be bestowed upon you . God gives us this gift so that we can spread the Good News and bring more people to Jesus and his sacrifice for us.
WEEKLY DEVOTIONAL PICK: From 15 Minutes Alone With God for Men by Bob Barnes
I read this devotion yesterday and it focuses on the topic of Humility, something we all can struggle with at one point. This devotion was derived from Philippians 2: 1-11. It gives us an example on how to live. This example? Jesus of course. He is the Son of God, and He took the form of a human and humbled Himself in God's plans for him. In this passage, Paul urges us to like selflessly not selfishly. He wants us to think of others better than ourselves so we can walk humbly in spirit.
There are two ways we can handle praise:
1. You can boast and be prideful about it
2. You can stay humble and not forget what God has given you
I pray that we learn to stay humble and to give thanks to the Father that has His arms wide open.
Father God, thank You for being our refuge. You are the Father that loves His children no matter the circumstances. I pray that we can model the love that You give us and that we can stay humble in our efforts. Thank You for Friends, thank You for Family, and thank You for the Blessings you have given us.
Luke 15:32New Living Translation (NLT)
32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’
God Bless!
Aidan
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