That question seems trivial, but at this point in our society its a pretty big deal. Relationships now are either "hit-it-n-quit-it" or casual. Friendship isn't great either; its one person using another and calling each other "friends".
My history with all of this crap with 'ship's isn't too "choir boy" or perfect. I had one and done relationships that went nowhere, and when I did develop feelings it fell through. This left me battered, bruised and untrusting. Up until a couple months ago I've just been focusing on the wrong aspects of a girl; "what can I get from her? and how can I use her to my advantage?". Not, "How can I serve God with this woman?" or "Will dating this person further my relationship with God or make me drift away and stumble?". Like I said, up until a few months ago I was stumbling, hard.
My friendships were also for the wrong reasons a while back. "Oh, this person has a nice house." or "Oh, You have money, what can I get from you?" I constantly let people down and built no friendships that could last.
Up until now
I came to grips with what I was becoming, I prayed and prayed asking why I was like this. Why was nothing lasting?
A couple days after this prayer I just felt the urge to buckle down and get a devotion book and a journal. Honestly, it has really helped me focus on the aspects of loving people despite their sin and learning to serve God as a man of God, not a man of this world.
Let me tell you a little story about a heart-to-heart I recently had with one of my friends:
This friend of mine is almost always happy-go-lucky, this person can bring you from a bad day to dancing and singing in your car like no other. Lets call this person K. After K and I were done hanging out, I went to drop her off at her house. As we drove along the road, her happy-go-lucky shell started to melt and I started to see the pain she was going through. I told her there was no judgement in my car and she let it all out. My heart broke at the sound of her telling me about self-harm and attempted suicide. Those stories almost brought me to the point of tears but I knew that I had finally seen the real K. Not the shiny outer coating that everybody else sees.
I felt that this experience showed me how all relationships between friends in Christ should be. The ability to be vulnerable before another person and before God shows the real you, the RAW you. Bottling everything up and pretend it's okay isn't healthy, true community and caring is shown in the ability to break down in front of one another. That's what makes relationships so valuable; the ability to be yourselves, broken or unbroken.
When it comes to the other type of relationship, nothing is more important than defining what you intend to do with this relationship; How long to you plan it to last? Is marriage an end game? Will this person build me up or drag me down?
Red flags for a dude in high school like me are: "My life could totally change" or "I'm gonna meet new people in college" tell me to not invest so much into a girl that could leave in the blink of an eye or tear my heart out of my chest. My ultimate goal for a relationship is to serve Christ together with a woman and that she loves God more than she loves me. I want her to be able to be vulnerable and to be the raw wifey that I will love.
My pick of the week was called "Not On Your Permanent Record" of which I read today.
This devotion started with a story about a boy named Craig. Each morning before school, Craig and his friend would ride their bikes to school to play on the playground. School started at 9 and the playground was off limits until 8:30. Well, one day the wind was on their side and they got to the playground early. There was no supervision so they just jumped on the playground. They were having a great time until a teacher came out and sent them straight to the principal's office. The principal said that this would go on their permanent record. Craig was terrified because he thought he wasn't going to graduate school to become a dentist. However, when he got home and told his dad about the incident, his dad reassured him it was no big deal.
Have you guys ever thought like this about sin?
Do you think because of one lie, theft, or lustful look that you'll forever be condemned to death? I know I have. I think because I talked to a girl disrespectfully or thought of her as a piece of meat. I will never be loved by Jesus. Boy was I wrong. The apostle Paul writes that "there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus." Paul reminds us that Jesus was sent to the cross so that we wouldn't have to face God's wrath in the end. But we can't just brush off the sins we have committed. Knowing that we are sinners just makes us appreciate what Jesus did so much more! All of this stupid stuff we've done was taken upon Jesus, as a gift no doubt! There are over 7 BILLION people on this earth, and Jesus knowingly took every one of our sins to the cross; and I thought benching 400 pounds was impossible.
Lord I pray the words I have written have spread Your good news. I thank you for the ability and resources to spread what You have spoken to me. I pray that You teach us what it means to be in a healthy relationship with You, our friends, and our potential God-serving spouses. Thank You for being a part of our lives and that we may serve you on our short time on Earth. In Your son's name I pray. Amen
Thanks for reading and God bless!
Aidan
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